lordoftheswag:

did you just say the n word?

white person:

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Me: *during sex* ....i think i hear someone coming....
girl: ....who?
me: MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE *bust nut*
When god became lonely
he created man,
Or was it
When man became lonely
he created god.
Melanie Exler
(via budddha)

ughjxnna:

OH MY GOD THIS CARD

I decided on you, don’t you get that? I decided on you. I don’t want to go fucking other people and then walk around feeling thrilled and then sad, or empty, or whatever. I like the smell of your hair, and I like the sound of your voice, and I fucking decided on you.
(via goghst)

bangs8:

WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE I AM

Something inside is hurting you – that’s why you need cigarettes or whiskey, or music turned so fucking loud you can’t think.

(via fu-cksadness)

so fucking l o u d 

(via dl0u)

fuckthesehipsters:

I want to tie you up, brand your ass with my hand print, straddle you from behind with a grip around your throat like no other, and use your ponytail to force you back into me after every thrust that distances us in the slightest, just brutally fuck you like people dreamed about being fucked, 
But most of all, I really just want you to want me, 
Fuck, how I wish you did. 

For a moment, I wondered how different my life would have been had they been my parents, but I shook the thought away. I knew my father had done the best he could, and I had no regrets about the way I’d turned out. Regrets about the journey, maybe, but not the destination. Because however it had happened, I’d somehow ended up eating shrimp in a dingy downtown shack with a girl that I already knew I’d never forget.
Nicholas Sparks (via kushandwizdom)

americansavior:

itsjustsatanthings:

cumber-bitches:

caswantsdeansassbutt:

cumber-bitches:

cumber-bitches:

I have fruit polos and lollypops be jealous.

omg do many people not know what fruit polos are? they are heaven

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In America, we call them lifesavers. They can be chewy or hard candy. 

polos aren’t chewy and they also come in mint.

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this week on: britan thinks its special

I no longer believed in the idea of soul mates, or love at first sight. But I was beginning to believe that a very few times in your life, if you were lucky, you might meet someone who was exactly right for you. Not because he was perfect, or because you were, but because your combined flaws were arranged in a way that allowed two separate beings to hinge together.
Lisa Kleypas (via kushandwizdom)
Among other things, you’ll find that you’re not the first person who was ever confused and frightened and even sickened by human behavior. You’re by no means alone on that score, you’ll be excited and stimulated to know. Many, many men have been just as troubled morally and spiritually as you are right now. Happily, some of them kept records of their troubles. You’ll learn from them—if you want to. Just as someday, if you have something to offer, someone will learn something from you. It’s a beautiful reciprocal arrangement. And it isn’t education. It’s history. It’s poetry.
J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye (via purplebuddhaproject)
We assume others show love the same way we do — and if they don’t, we worry it’s not there.
Unknown  (via slutdiagnos)

Learn this lesson as early in life as possible AND NEVER FORGET IT!!

(via 18-15n-77-30w)

You will call me sweetheart
and I will still stumble over
good morning

I will want to know how many breaths you take after waking up
before you consider yourself alive

I will shiver when you touch me
do not be offended;
you are the warmest person I know.

How the beginning will go - Meghan Lynn (via ohdreaming)
A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world.
Oscar Wilde (via kushandwizdom)